I once wrote a post on the internet about the reassurance that can come from touching. I was surprised to get two responses that said touching is important. I had heard about babies needing to be touched, but it never occured to me that a 23 year old might still need to be touched. I am talking here about physical touching although I know you can be touched in other ways than physically.
I do know quite a lot about touching in a romantic way, probably way way too much. But here I am writing about what I call the 'reassurance' touch. By that I mean a person touching you in a way that makes you feel that they understand and want to help you.
I'm sure when I was very little my mother touched me in a reassuring way. But as you get older and think you 'know it all' touching begins to look like baby stuff. Yes I was that way. Because of my own mistakes, touching was almost lost to me. Three years ago I found I needed reassurance. I've told the story, but a priest made the sign of the cross on my forehead when I was in great pain, and then held my head up as he gave me medicine. The pills and the touching, I swear, worked together. And then the woman who took care of me as I recovered touched me as she washed my injured feet and removed my sweaty T-shirt and my pajamas to change them to make me more comfortable. I was not embarassed to be unclothed for a few minutes because I knew I was being helped.
At church when the priest puts his hand on my head and says "Frank, God loves you," I almost feel like a child again. At school when I did something good and some other students patted me on the head I knew what they meant; and when my girlfriend pats my head and says "Sandy I really like you," I know she means as a friend not just a boyfriend.
In reading some of my experiences, you might think I'm a "Jesus freak." Well maybe I am, if you are talking about the Man who healed the lepers by touching them. I heard a sermon at church last month that lepers were thought in old times to have gotten the disease becaused they had sinned. We know that is not true. The disease did not come from sinning. But maybe a "moral leper" like I had to be called was started on the road to healing by touches. I kind of believe this.
In a few weeks when I am confirmed, I hope a hand touches my head and "says" "Frank, you are healed," and I hear a voice say "Jesus loves you." I want the person who said those words that touched my ears or heart to be a member of my family.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Master of his fate.
Jack and Alice's real son was named John. He was completely different from me. John had no interest in athletics, except an occasional game of handball. He was short and slight of build. He was an excellent student, as opposed to my shabby record.
But he was the world's nicest guy. He was always a gentleman, treating every person as if they were really important. John was several years older than me, but when he went places with his friends he always tried to include me. He had both a bachelor and masters a degrees. He was the youngest city manager in our state. But he hated the work, having to listen to endless gripes about sewer service, chug holes and all the things people can complain about.
So he quit that work and returned to his home city to help manage a book store. He loved that work, although he always tried to put on a business face.
About 9 years ago doctors told him he had the beginnings of cancer. They put him on a strong medicine. The medicine made him so sick he could not work, plus the medicine cost 1200 dollars a month. Jack and Alice wanted to pay for the drug but John said "no." He asked the doctor how long he could live. The doctor said maybe ten years without the medicine. John stopped the medicine. He told his friends, as a joke, that he wanted to get sick on Monday and die on Wednesday. Well that happened, except it was Tuesday and Thursday. He was very close to Alice, but not so close to Jack. John liked to have friendly discussions with Jack but sometimes they would become heated. But they were still close in their way.
Alice and John went to NYC for a couple of weeks, and he died within 2 weeks of his return. His funeral was at a Catholic church even though he never went to church after he grew up. The priests asked no questions. I was a young kid at the funeral and I was amazed. I thought John just had a small circle of friends. But the large church was filled. There were fellow employees, of course, but also young people on drugs who John had helped. There was also a young man who had been sexually abused by a bishop's assistant, and poor people who he had helped. The most amazing person was a teenage girl who for years had never spoken. There was an exception;she would talk to John. Since then Jack and Alice have run across many people who tell of John's kindness. How he gave almost every penny he had to others, how he helped the sick. He always drove an old car and spent almost nothing on himself.
Jack is sick over not really knowing his son, and Alice is still very sad. I think she takes such good care of me because she misses John so much.I can never replace him, but maybe in my little way she can see a small part of a son.
On the funeral program Jack put a quote from an English poet named John Milton. I'm not sure what it means, but I think I get the point.
"For Lycidas is dead, dead ere his prime
Young Lycidas,and hath not left his peer.
So lycidas sunk low, but mounted high,
Through the dear might of Him who walked the waves."
Dear God, let this be true. In Jesus name.
But he was the world's nicest guy. He was always a gentleman, treating every person as if they were really important. John was several years older than me, but when he went places with his friends he always tried to include me. He had both a bachelor and masters a degrees. He was the youngest city manager in our state. But he hated the work, having to listen to endless gripes about sewer service, chug holes and all the things people can complain about.
So he quit that work and returned to his home city to help manage a book store. He loved that work, although he always tried to put on a business face.
About 9 years ago doctors told him he had the beginnings of cancer. They put him on a strong medicine. The medicine made him so sick he could not work, plus the medicine cost 1200 dollars a month. Jack and Alice wanted to pay for the drug but John said "no." He asked the doctor how long he could live. The doctor said maybe ten years without the medicine. John stopped the medicine. He told his friends, as a joke, that he wanted to get sick on Monday and die on Wednesday. Well that happened, except it was Tuesday and Thursday. He was very close to Alice, but not so close to Jack. John liked to have friendly discussions with Jack but sometimes they would become heated. But they were still close in their way.
Alice and John went to NYC for a couple of weeks, and he died within 2 weeks of his return. His funeral was at a Catholic church even though he never went to church after he grew up. The priests asked no questions. I was a young kid at the funeral and I was amazed. I thought John just had a small circle of friends. But the large church was filled. There were fellow employees, of course, but also young people on drugs who John had helped. There was also a young man who had been sexually abused by a bishop's assistant, and poor people who he had helped. The most amazing person was a teenage girl who for years had never spoken. There was an exception;she would talk to John. Since then Jack and Alice have run across many people who tell of John's kindness. How he gave almost every penny he had to others, how he helped the sick. He always drove an old car and spent almost nothing on himself.
Jack is sick over not really knowing his son, and Alice is still very sad. I think she takes such good care of me because she misses John so much.I can never replace him, but maybe in my little way she can see a small part of a son.
On the funeral program Jack put a quote from an English poet named John Milton. I'm not sure what it means, but I think I get the point.
"For Lycidas is dead, dead ere his prime
Young Lycidas,and hath not left his peer.
So lycidas sunk low, but mounted high,
Through the dear might of Him who walked the waves."
Dear God, let this be true. In Jesus name.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The Good Samericans
I don't know much about science, but to me the greatest invention of my lifetime is the internet. The internet is a highway where you can travel almost any place. You can get news, check sports scores, look up definitions, and find out about history. Like any highway there are good things to find and bad things . Sure there are pornographic sites, and you would know I was a liar if I said I had never stopped at one of these.
But there are important insights on this "highway." In RCIA we had discussed the parable of the Good Samaritan. I looked it up on Wikipedia, an internet highway stop, and it spoke directly to me. In the theological discussion about this parable, it was stated the poor beaten man by the road could symbolize a sinner. And I don't have to look up that word.
There are many translations of the Bible, so I am going to make a personal translation of the Good Samaritan parable as it might speak to me.
There was a man on the internet highway who fell into sin. He had been beaten and his heart was broken, and he laid there half-dead. A person came down the highway, saw the young man, and went on. Then a preacher came by and crossed on the other side. But two Samericans, who were journeying along with their children, were moved with compassion at the sight. They approached the young man and dressed the wounds of his heart. They then hoisted him up and brought him to a place where he was cared for. And then the wisest man who ever lived saw what happened and asked those who were watching"Which of these, in your opinion, could be called a neighbor to the young man who fell into sin?" A man in the crowd answered: "The women who treated him with compassion." And the wisest man said, "Then go and do the same."
Now family is very important. But so are neighbors, some of whom have never seen you, but through compassion become your neighbors and friends and treat you with respect and, maybe, love. I was lucky. I found two such friends on the "highway". I have no way to repay them, but did not Jesus say: " As much as you have done it to the least of these my children, you have done it to me." I, of course, am the young man. The two women who helped me and were my good Samericans may not recognize what they have done. But I know in my heart, Jesus knows them and what they did. Frank
But there are important insights on this "highway." In RCIA we had discussed the parable of the Good Samaritan. I looked it up on Wikipedia, an internet highway stop, and it spoke directly to me. In the theological discussion about this parable, it was stated the poor beaten man by the road could symbolize a sinner. And I don't have to look up that word.
There are many translations of the Bible, so I am going to make a personal translation of the Good Samaritan parable as it might speak to me.
There was a man on the internet highway who fell into sin. He had been beaten and his heart was broken, and he laid there half-dead. A person came down the highway, saw the young man, and went on. Then a preacher came by and crossed on the other side. But two Samericans, who were journeying along with their children, were moved with compassion at the sight. They approached the young man and dressed the wounds of his heart. They then hoisted him up and brought him to a place where he was cared for. And then the wisest man who ever lived saw what happened and asked those who were watching"Which of these, in your opinion, could be called a neighbor to the young man who fell into sin?" A man in the crowd answered: "The women who treated him with compassion." And the wisest man said, "Then go and do the same."
Now family is very important. But so are neighbors, some of whom have never seen you, but through compassion become your neighbors and friends and treat you with respect and, maybe, love. I was lucky. I found two such friends on the "highway". I have no way to repay them, but did not Jesus say: " As much as you have done it to the least of these my children, you have done it to me." I, of course, am the young man. The two women who helped me and were my good Samericans may not recognize what they have done. But I know in my heart, Jesus knows them and what they did. Frank
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Jack
While I am going to college I am living with a couple named Jack and Alice. I am not related to them, but my best friend is Jack's nephew. I have a lot of trouble because I thought being a man meant playing football and going too far with girls. Jack and Alice pay all my expenses along with my medical bills. I talked about Alice in my first paper and now let me speak about Jack.
Jack is hard to write about. He has done so many things, and knows so much I can only give a small picture of him. I could tell about how he became a teacher by accident, and how he was elected to head the teachers union in his city at 28(the youngest to ever hold that post). Also how he gained benefits for the 3800 members of his union, and how he defended any teacher who was going to be fired, on the grounds that every person deserves a defense. And then at 31 he was elected(again the youngest) president of the state teachers' union. He traveled the state, organizing local unions and defending accused teachers on the grounds that every person deserves a defense.
Or I could talk about his personal life. How he turned down jobs paying 4 times as much as he earned so he could spend more time with his family. He can play all the Mozart piano sonatas on the piano, and he has an unbelievable amount of knowledge about boxing, football, opera,politics and on and on.
But most important to me is how he helps young people and never asks for credit. Years ago he hired a young 20 year old man named Rick to do his yard work. That is Jack's one luxury; he hates yard work. Rick was a very good high school baseball player but a really bad student. So he could not go to college and instead mowed yards. Jack felt sorry for him, and ask Rick one day if he would like to work with the school system's yard crew. Rick was very excited,but then he told Jack "I can't(sp?). Jack got him an application and then he understood. Question 9 was "Have you ever been arrested on drug charges?" At 18 Rick had been arrested for possession of marijuana. Jack filled out Rick's application and put "no"on question 9.
Well Rick did get hired. He had to be at work at 7, so Jack or Alice would call him every day to make sure he got to work on time. Alice was always a little disappointed when his girlfriend would answer. But Rick worked in the 100 degree heat and never missed a day. When Rick's brother shot his girlfriend and then himself only 2 of the 7800 employees of the school system went by Rick and his parents' house to express sorrow: Jack and Alice.
A few years ago Jack and Alice ran into Rick at a shopping mall. They talked for a couple of minutes. Rick had gotten a promotion, and then another one and worked his way up to a supervisory job in security for the district's 120 schhool. He made 45000 a year, a high salary for our area. As they got ready to leave Rick grabbed Jack's arm and said "You are the only person who ever tried to help me'. Back in the car Alice cried and Jack, as he does, said "That was a nice compliment".
And then I came along. I wasn't(?) into drugs big time but, with going too far with girls, I was the worst. But somehow Jack and Alice thought I needed help. A few weeks ago Jack and I were at his huge credit union building where Jack had been the first teacher to ever be on the board of directors. I stood with him in one of the teller lines until he went to the teller. I stepped aside. I saw a very old women with a cane coming across the lobby toward me with a big smile on her face. I thought she was going to shake my hand because she had mistaken me for someone else. I held out my hand and she put her tiny hands around my large hand. In a shaky voice, because she was so old, she said, "I'll bet you are John Haynes' grandson". I lied. I said "Yes". Just then Jack came up and the old lady said "You have a fine looking grandson". I was scared because I had lied. But Jack said"Yes, and we are very proud of him". And then we went on our other errands, and Jack has never mentioned my clumsy effort to be someone.
Anna suggest a title PLEASE. I don't think Jack of all trades is good.
Jack is hard to write about. He has done so many things, and knows so much I can only give a small picture of him. I could tell about how he became a teacher by accident, and how he was elected to head the teachers union in his city at 28(the youngest to ever hold that post). Also how he gained benefits for the 3800 members of his union, and how he defended any teacher who was going to be fired, on the grounds that every person deserves a defense. And then at 31 he was elected(again the youngest) president of the state teachers' union. He traveled the state, organizing local unions and defending accused teachers on the grounds that every person deserves a defense.
Or I could talk about his personal life. How he turned down jobs paying 4 times as much as he earned so he could spend more time with his family. He can play all the Mozart piano sonatas on the piano, and he has an unbelievable amount of knowledge about boxing, football, opera,politics and on and on.
But most important to me is how he helps young people and never asks for credit. Years ago he hired a young 20 year old man named Rick to do his yard work. That is Jack's one luxury; he hates yard work. Rick was a very good high school baseball player but a really bad student. So he could not go to college and instead mowed yards. Jack felt sorry for him, and ask Rick one day if he would like to work with the school system's yard crew. Rick was very excited,but then he told Jack "I can't(sp?). Jack got him an application and then he understood. Question 9 was "Have you ever been arrested on drug charges?" At 18 Rick had been arrested for possession of marijuana. Jack filled out Rick's application and put "no"on question 9.
Well Rick did get hired. He had to be at work at 7, so Jack or Alice would call him every day to make sure he got to work on time. Alice was always a little disappointed when his girlfriend would answer. But Rick worked in the 100 degree heat and never missed a day. When Rick's brother shot his girlfriend and then himself only 2 of the 7800 employees of the school system went by Rick and his parents' house to express sorrow: Jack and Alice.
A few years ago Jack and Alice ran into Rick at a shopping mall. They talked for a couple of minutes. Rick had gotten a promotion, and then another one and worked his way up to a supervisory job in security for the district's 120 schhool. He made 45000 a year, a high salary for our area. As they got ready to leave Rick grabbed Jack's arm and said "You are the only person who ever tried to help me'. Back in the car Alice cried and Jack, as he does, said "That was a nice compliment".
And then I came along. I wasn't(?) into drugs big time but, with going too far with girls, I was the worst. But somehow Jack and Alice thought I needed help. A few weeks ago Jack and I were at his huge credit union building where Jack had been the first teacher to ever be on the board of directors. I stood with him in one of the teller lines until he went to the teller. I stepped aside. I saw a very old women with a cane coming across the lobby toward me with a big smile on her face. I thought she was going to shake my hand because she had mistaken me for someone else. I held out my hand and she put her tiny hands around my large hand. In a shaky voice, because she was so old, she said, "I'll bet you are John Haynes' grandson". I lied. I said "Yes". Just then Jack came up and the old lady said "You have a fine looking grandson". I was scared because I had lied. But Jack said"Yes, and we are very proud of him". And then we went on our other errands, and Jack has never mentioned my clumsy effort to be someone.
Anna suggest a title PLEASE. I don't think Jack of all trades is good.
Monday, January 14, 2008
"A fool made wiser by pity."
My family lives in a small town. I am living with another family while I go to school in a nearby big city. I have had a rather ugly past believing that football and girls/women were what you needed to be good at. Alice, the woman of the house, and I use the same blog, and back in NovemberI noticed a post by Alice entitled"A fool made wise by pity." I did not think much of it at the time. Alice is a beautiful 65 year old lady. Her life has been fascinating. She came from a wealthy family and was pursued by many men, including a Saudi Arabian prince who would charter planes to come and see her. Her boss asked Jack, before she married Jack, to help him win Alice because Jack was more 'experienced, and would know how to win a woman. But instead of marrying her boss she married Jack,a young teacher and union organizer . The marriage was met with great opposition by her family because Jack was not Catholic,as Alice and her family were. But To this day Alice is loved by all who know her. Her personality, her kindness, her sense of humor, make her always wanted for parties and gatherings of all kinds. And she has been very kind to me ,nursing me back from a rather serious injury, just like a mother would. She treats me as she does her own children, although we were not even related. She has guided me to religion, not by force, but by exposing me to what Christianity can do.
One day we were sitting in her living room, and I noticed a picture hanging on the wall that had always been there since I had come to live with Jack and Alice and their family. I ask her about it. She told me it was a reproduction of a 19th century painting called "The Temptation of Parsifal." I had never even heard of Parsifal, but Alice explained he was a knight of the round table who was called "A fool made wise by pity." I can't remember the whole story, but Parsifal was a foolish young man who became sorry for the King of the Holy Grail, who had a painful wound that could not be healed except by a young knight who had compassion for the king.
After many adventures, the young Parsifal became a knight and found the spear that had been used on Jesus' side at the cruxifiction. He took the spear to the king and touched his wound, and it was instantly healed. Parsifal then became king of the holy grail when the healed king later died.
Alice believes as did the author of the legend that we become good and wise by having compassion on others. She is no saint, but she loves the picture. I believe it reminds her of what she should strive for. But we slightly disagree, because I think I know an unwise young man, not named Parsifal, who became not wise but wiser, because he received the touch of the spear. And he is wiser because of a person who had compassion on him. So Alice, God Bless you.
One day we were sitting in her living room, and I noticed a picture hanging on the wall that had always been there since I had come to live with Jack and Alice and their family. I ask her about it. She told me it was a reproduction of a 19th century painting called "The Temptation of Parsifal." I had never even heard of Parsifal, but Alice explained he was a knight of the round table who was called "A fool made wise by pity." I can't remember the whole story, but Parsifal was a foolish young man who became sorry for the King of the Holy Grail, who had a painful wound that could not be healed except by a young knight who had compassion for the king.
After many adventures, the young Parsifal became a knight and found the spear that had been used on Jesus' side at the cruxifiction. He took the spear to the king and touched his wound, and it was instantly healed. Parsifal then became king of the holy grail when the healed king later died.
Alice believes as did the author of the legend that we become good and wise by having compassion on others. She is no saint, but she loves the picture. I believe it reminds her of what she should strive for. But we slightly disagree, because I think I know an unwise young man, not named Parsifal, who became not wise but wiser, because he received the touch of the spear. And he is wiser because of a person who had compassion on him. So Alice, God Bless you.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Pick a family
Hi. I have picked my titles for my next 5 class essays. The theme is pick a family. Titles as of now. The fool made wise by pity; Jack of all trades; the hand that heals; master of his fate; the good Americans. Tomorrow have test to see if I can be family man. So once again, please say a prayer if you will and have time. Frank
Friday, January 11, 2008
Back!!!
I am home from the hospital, and things look good. Thanks Caitlin for your prayers. This sugury is kind of hard to explain to Emily who came every day to the hospital. I will have to walk kind of funny for a while but Emily is bringing my assignments from school. Glad to count you as a friend. Miss Anna but Jack says she is involved in a heavy religious discussion on another blog. Jack put that picture of me on again, I am working to get it off. I could not have a better friend than you. Frank
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Blogging: Good/Bad
Got some time so thought I'd make a couple of lists.
GOOD THINGS ABOUT BLOGS:
Incredible variety of interests.
Some really great people.
Some incredibly learned people.
Some fascinating discussions.
Some very tolerate blogs---tolerate different opinions.
BAD THINGS ABOUT BLOGS:
So many, hard to find good ones.
Some really crummy people.
Often blog master never responds to questions or comments.
Many blogs have favorite 'commenters , kind of like a fraternity.
Some bloggers 'ban' people who disagree with them.
Some bloggers ban whole subjects like church and sex.
Some really arcane discussions on papal hiccups.
All in all:Blogging great fun.
GOOD THINGS ABOUT BLOGS:
Incredible variety of interests.
Some really great people.
Some incredibly learned people.
Some fascinating discussions.
Some very tolerate blogs---tolerate different opinions.
BAD THINGS ABOUT BLOGS:
So many, hard to find good ones.
Some really crummy people.
Often blog master never responds to questions or comments.
Many blogs have favorite 'commenters , kind of like a fraternity.
Some bloggers 'ban' people who disagree with them.
Some bloggers ban whole subjects like church and sex.
Some really arcane discussions on papal hiccups.
All in all:Blogging great fun.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Explantion
Anna, Caitilin. I need to give and explanation of the change in this blog. More than almost anything Jack wants me to join the catholic church. So he has decided not to post on this until after my joining. He does not want me to say this but I am, his health is heart trouble and cancer. But he justs laughs. He told me if a said this his enemies on the blogs would have a party. That is his joke. He does not tell me but he is getting disappointed at the church from reading. I can tell it and it makes me sad, but he knows I need the church and friends like you are to me. I'm scared of my surgury but I know you two and Jesus are going to let me be okay. Frank
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