THE HERO FROM NOWHERE
I was born some 23 years ago in a little town of about 5,000. My little town is 25 miles from a pretty big city. When I was in grade school the teachers thought I would be a good athlete. I was big and tall for my age.
When I got to junior high in the ninth grade I was good anough in Foorball to play for the high school team. In fact I was the only 9th grader to start. By the 10th grade I was over six feet tall and about 170 pounds. I was one of our best players. My dad got lots of attention at the cafe, and the barber shop, and other places. His friends told him how good I was. He liked it because my older brother had got in trouble and dad was ashamed of him.
After the games the older players ask me to go with them. Some one would get a beer and we would go to a small lake near the town. There were girls there and the older boys we tease me to become a man. I did not know what to do but they told me how and pushed me to be a man. It was very awkward but I finally did what they said. I was fifteen and could have said no but wanted there approval. This happened several times.
It was fun being a big wheel at the school and in our little town and my dad was really pleased. I don't mean to blame others but the attention I got was hard for me to deal with so I just went along.
In the tenth grade we played an epispocal school from the big city. We won and I scored two touchdowns. There had been a little story in the big city paper about me and after the game one of there coaches came over to me and said "so you are the hero from nowhere. I still don't know if he meant mean or was just joking. I did not think much of it until I went to bed that night. May be I was a important person but was I from nowhere. Were the older boys laughing at my awkard attempts at being a man. Were the girls who really seem to like me talking about me having a bad reputattion. Was I really just a little guy from nowhere even if I was a foorball star was I what the coach said. A hero from nowhere. Then I went to sleep.
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Frank,
ReplyDeleteYes, I could understand the writing. It's a good story. And the title is definitely the right title for the paper.
Spelling/grammar corrections: I like making these kind of corrections, so don't feel bad about any of this. There are a few places I would personally add commas, although I'm not 100% sure that it's mandatory: after the “school” in “When I was in grade school”, after “in the ninth grade”, after the “do” in “I did not know what to do”, after the “with” in “hard for me to deal with”, after the “me” in big city paper about me”, and after the “person” in “maybe I was an important person”.
“anough” should be “enough”, “Foorball” should be “football” unless you were playing a sport I've never heard of. “the older players ask” should be “the older players asked”, since everywhere else you use the past tense. “Some one” should be “Someone”. “older boys we tease” should be “older boys would tease”. “wanted there approval” should be “wanted their approval”. “one of there coaches” should be “one of their coaches”. “so you are the hero from nowhere” needs to have the second quotation mark “ after “nowhere” to mark the end of the quote. “if he meant mean” is grammatically incorrect; you can either say “if he meant it in a mean way” or “if he was being mean” or “if he meant to be mean”; I think the last one sounds the best and was probably what you meant to write. “May be” should be “Maybe”. Your rhetorical questions (was I from nowhere? Were the boys laughing? Were the girls talking? Was I really?) should probably have question marks instead of periods at the end. “reputattion” should be “reputation”. “Was I really just a little guy from nowhere even if I was a foorball star was I what the coach said” isn't quite right: I think you meant “Was I really just a little guy from nowhere even if I was a football star? Was I what the coach said, a hero from nowhere?”
Other than the spelling and grammar, it's actually quite good writing, I think. Maybe you have a knack for this.
God bless,
Anna
Boy, Anna thanks so much. You really help me. Will post next paper a bit later. Maybe I am too down on myself. Your help and comment make me feel more confident. Frank
ReplyDeleteFrank,
ReplyDeleteI know that you didn't ask for my comments, but I read your posts and Jack's regularly, and I agree with Anna: what you have written is excellent. It's a heartfelt, honest, clear-eyed appraisal of what happens in small towns where athletics becomes almost a religion, and the athletes become like gods. :) I think you are a hero, but not from nowhere. You're very obviously from a place very like the little town where I live. :) I am glad that you're feeling more confident in your writing--you should.
Peace be with you,
Caitilin
Anna, Caitilin. Jack is homw but he said for me to repond for this week. Thank both of you, I hope my experience is not too rough. I am glad anyone would read what I write. You are free to share any of this with friends or others. Thanks
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