The Church of the Curious Cleric

There has been a lot of comment the last few weeks about the new world of the internet, facebook, twitter, blogs and other cyber developments that are changing our world in a real way. We see this in politics, world affairs, personal matters etc. But no one has mentioned to my knowledge these new developments on religion. But they will come---indeed we already have a model, at least, for the first cyber church.

So I'll do a brief tentative analysis and see what happens. I'll use 'cover' names to protect the---well, should I call them the innocent.

The founder of this cyber church, which I will call "The Church of the Curious Cleric," (CCC) is an ordained cleric in England. He ministers to a local church, but constantly complains because he has not gained the 'advancement' he claims he deserves. So, he apparently thinks, why not keep two jobs; one as a local cleric and, at the same time, start your own church.



But what about offerings, or money, as the laity call it? After all a church can't just exist on faith alone. Well, the CCC church displays at all times on its blog, the single word "Donate." Where the donations go and how much they are is a secret, known only to the Curious Cleric. However, unlike most religious appeals, the Curious Cleric makes it quite clear the money goes to him personally. A few months ago, he appealed for monthly donations to keep the ministry going. That has been dropped, and his last appeal was to finance his vacation.

The organization, or hierarchy, of the CCC is not fully developed at this time. The Curious Cleric does have a sort of assistant. This guy, from the west coast of the U.S.,is a rather tart 'young' man, who takes over when the Curious Cleric is on vacation. The Curious Cleric need not worry. This assistant worships his 'boss'; is never critical of the head cleric, and BTW has the fastest "delete" hands in blogdom should a critical comment come in. I suspect this assistant is gathering relics of the Curious Cleric to sell---well you know when.

Right under the assistant is the official blog inquisitoress. She lays down the rules of who can come on the Blog(church) and does this with icy efficiency. Even the Curious Cleric follows her instructions on who to "cast out" from the CCC. Recently, to the delight of the "communiy", as the members call themselves, this lady got married. I would be less than honest, if I did not say I pray every night for her......her husband!

Problably the most active member of the church is a granma who apparently only knows really sick people. She describes in brutal detail those getting close to heaven. The church prayer club then responds by chanting "prayers as--cending, prayers as-cending" at least 7 times, 7 times just to keep it Biblical.

Another important member is DAH-DAH. He used to appear in the church directory naked from the waist up, causing, it appears, squeals of delight from the faithful. He now appears with shirt.

The community, the church, whatever, does not speak in unknown tongues or have a 'prayer language. They substitute "naughty" tongues. The favorite word is some form of the F...Word. Some other 'frank' words are used quite often so that when they call someone asshole it just might be a compliment. Oh, I must mention a lady who identifies herself with just two letters. She's planning to be a writer, but is satisfied now to be the official church proof reader.

Maybe the above will give you a slight 'taste' of the membership of CCC. As of now, the church has no official slogan. On its blog billboard, it promises 'the deity, genatalia, and bad music.' in other words, of course. A pretty good draw, eh?

They have" high holidays"---they have just finished(maybe) having a month long celebrations of the Curious Cleric's birthday. One another distinctive trait: The catholics see the Virgin in their cereal , on their doors etc. The CCC members---and this is very distinctive---see human penises(should it be "peni") in everthing from trees to clouds; or just anything vertical.

I really felt I could not complete my religious survey without, As Obama says) looking to the future. Watch this CCC church. It is growing, and probably coming to your computer soon.

The Mega-Churches...Rest Stop.

Having finished my "Religion Rankings" for this decade, I must move on to a couple of 'rest stops'. So brief discussion of "Mega-Churches." These are hugh non-denominational churches, that are far more than traditional churches. They package religion in with a variety of other activites, to draw more "megas."

Some observer recently wrote that these mega-churches would not last---they would collapse of their own weight because they had no 'real' theology. Wish father to the thought, I'm afraid. Very few, if any, members of the traditional churches have any real idea of the theology of their denomination. Okay, maybe a few slogans, but that's it.

A friend of my recently returned from the "Mega-Church World Federation" and passed along a few suggestions that were made to draw new "megas" by using 'secular' techniques rather than the usual "come to Jesus, and save your ass" approach of the denominations. I'll list a few.

In Mexico a complete bullring right under the 'sanctuary'. Complete with real bull andweapons of bull torture.

In France, complete course in "French kissing" not just limited to the lips.

In Italy, free hot tub sessions with members of their parliament, including the Prime Minister.

In England, a bit reserved, so free tickets to the Prince William and Prince Harry nude picture gallery.

In Ireland, free molestations by your favorite nun or priest. Accompanied by songs by the "singing priests," or whatever they are called.

In the United States, drawing for a night of free sex with your favorite Republican figure. Or in the alternative a drug session with Russ Limbaugh.

In Africa, watch a stoning of a gay after the Sunday morning service.

Just a few great ideas. Guaranteed to increase membership in your mega-church.

And the winner is: Trumpet fanfare!!!! The Lutheran Church

Here we are at the top. And the winner is THE LUTHERANS. As an RC you can tell I, at least, try to be objective.

Before I start here , let me share my 'method.' In the past I've tried to visit the churches on the list. But age has a bit slowed me down, so Now I send my daughter and 'sons' to visit and take video, if possible, Otherwise audio. I know people in almost all the groups; however, as some know I am no saint---even close. Yes, I do bawl out the Jehovah's Witnesses and Morons(opps, typo, but I think I'll leave it) who knock at my door, and then I slam the door in their face!!

Now to the Lutherans. They have one PR drawback. The Church is named after a real person. AND he liked beer and sex.Possible in the future they should consider changing it to something like: "The original, most true,love God, your neighbor, pray for all, sermon on the mount brotherhood of the saintly from A.D. 31" or something along those lines.

Of course, every Christian 'church' thinks it is the ORIGINAL church. Baptist, for example refer to a couple of Paul's letters as "Paul's Letters to the First Baptist Church at Corinth." This is not a joke. I've personally heard such!

But the Lutherans rank right near the top in all the categories I use in these ranking. They have a well developed and coherrent theology, explicated by outstanding theologians. They display a good balance between personal and social ethics, and I have yet to see a really ugly Luthean church, in any size town.

On top of that, they get along well with other religions. Attention Anglicans: They even get along well with their break away Lutherans. In my conservative city, the Missouri Synod group are the leaders in ecumenical efforts. That's right--Missouri Synod.

Of the 'liturgical' churches their preaching is right at the top.BTW, does anyone remember Oswald Hoffman? The Methodist edge the Lutherans slightly in this area, if, as some do, you consider Methodist liturgical.

And most important: To my knowledge they do NOT use the pulpit to endorse specific political candidates, even by misdirection as do the Catholics, Baptist and others.

And, of course, finally, any church that produced the music of Bach has to be close to heaven!!!

And if your daughter wants to marry into this religion? Urge her to.

Well, there are my ranking for this decade. I still have two "rest stops." The mega-churches, and the First Church of Blogdom. Coming up.

United Church of Christ. The Kingdom Here.

Well, here we are. Just one more to the top.

TheUnited Church ofChrist(you'll have to check out its lineage) is the "And the second is like unto it, love your neighbor like yourself" in action. This group supports about every second commandment you can think of.

They oppose any war over 30 minutes in length, are leaders in about any social reform movement---opposition to war, tolerance and care for LGBT causes, animal rights, women's equality and on and on. It is, of course, not correct to say they support inter-species marriage AT THIS TIME--but maybe later.

When I was young decades ago our city was blessed with a Congregational minister---Jackson Smith---who was ahead even of the Unitarians on racial justice issues. That church now is a Unitied Church of Christ church.

Shouldn't this Church be at the top of my list. Well one drawback. They really don't give much attention to "The first and greatest commandment." Nothing really wrong about this; in fact this Church would probably deny it. But, at least, that is the impression of many.

Obama belonged to this church, but even he had to take a break because of its so open social/political agenda.

But since these rankings are based to a degree on religion, this Church probably needs to push personal, not social, piety a spot more.

If your daughter wants to marry into this religion, applaud her. Make sure she likes to stand on street corners protesting whatever is old and bad leading some of her friends to think she just might be a tad radical, and on the other hand some will think she is a Church of Christ(the ones that don't like musical instruments in church), so she made get it from both directions. But if she's tough and thinks about building the "kingdom" in America's grassy plains, then she sould be at home.

The Methodist---Right down the Middle

I believe my rankings are about as objective as possible. With the Methodist I have some problems of distance.

The city I live in has one of the amazing church buildings in American. The Boston Avenue Church is a marvel in that it is in a relatively modern style (art deco), but is as fresh and timeless today as when it was first built. In addition to the building, this Church has one of the two or three best 'preachers' in the U.S.

In addition to these parochical factors some ten years ago, I had the chance to see the Methodist church in Windom Texas. Windom today is as close to the 'end of the world' one can find. A town of just a few hundred, the "downtown" consisting of a cafe and a small post office. about two blocks away is the local Methodist church. It is a well designed frame church in the style of turn of the century country churches. The interior is immaculately kept with the altar communion vessels in perfect condition. To me, it is amazing that this tiny community hosts such a structure. It is helped, of course, by having across the street an ugly, concret block Assembly of God edifce.

Nationally there is considerable divergence of views among the Methodist. The National organization tends to the 'liberal' side especially on social issues. The Church has excellent seminaries, the clergy usually being rather learned. Unfortunately there is a sizable group of local churches that are still struggling to get past 1950.

The Church services have a decent balance. Liturgical in many ways---their inheritance from Anglicanism---but with usually a high order of semonizing. Not all, of course, have these two elements to a relatively high degree, but there is much there, in many Methodist churches to satisfy both lovers of liturgy and good sermonizing..

The theology of the Methodist Church is traditional Anglican, with a few deviations.

Now, if your daughter wants to marry into this group, she will neither gain nor lose socially. She will need to be careful not to fall into the hands of a right wing, political leaning church. Cerainly there are such Methodist churches, but, in my experience most pastors tend to steer clear of political partenship, disguised as the 'word of God.'

Getting Closer===The Presbyterians.

Getting closer to the top, we come across the Presbyterians. Historically they have a couple of big things to overcome.

One. They come from a Calvinist tradition. Which means there ain't nothing you can do---God has already determined whether he likes you or not. If he doesn't, you've had it. Everlasting burning. Well this isn't really a hot mission message so.....this isn't mentioned even on Wickepedia. By some fancy footwork the Presbyterians believe in predestination and don't believe in predestination. So they are a scholarly group.

Two. They gave the name and the intellectual cover for fundamentalism, early in the 20th century. But again they've dropped this. They don't want you to remember that W.J. Bryan was of their group.

In literature we think of Sinclair Lewis. Why? Because the Presbys were what he used to represent staid the middle class religion of the American businessman. Check it out in your home town and you'll find most of your bank presidents in the 20's went to the First Presbyterian Church in your village.

But they've changed a lot. Still a lot of boring businessmen, but with a new theology and social concern they are the perfect church for the respectable who don't want to get too far out on the liberal limb, but like to give generously to the Community Chest.

Their archetecture is solid and impressive. Ther sermons are solid, without either hurting your conscience or jolting you awake. Hey, next to St. Thomas, the Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church inNew York is about as 'tony (toney? as you can get.

So, if your daughter wants to marry into this group, you should be satisfied. Good social standing, and rather light, but not totally dismissive, of issues like same sex marriage. A good fit for those who believe in God, but don't want to get carried away with the idea and do something that would keep them out of the Rotary Club.

Anglicans----COME OUT FIGHTING

Well, this hasn't been my decade. My current church--catholic--is sinking fast. My church for 55 years---the Episcopal, I'll call it Anglican here---was number one in my 1950 rankings but now has me a bit confused. But I'll try to clarify. 

First, to clear up a couple of fallacies:

One  It is NOT true that, as many said in the nineteenth century, the essence of Anglicanism is "Let's dress up and play like we're Catholics."
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Two. It is NOT true that there are more Anglican church buildings than members.

This church is 'headed" by some guy in England they call ABC. He spends a lot of time with a queen----of England, that is. He has about as much influcence over your local church as the janitor.(Excuse me, I think they call him the sexton?) And your bishop. You live in Kansas and your bishop is in Tanzania or some place in Africa.

This church used to be called the Repuplican Party at prayer, but they even lost that title to the Catholics or Baptists.

Apparently they are 'ruled' by a General Convention, here in the U.S. There they debate issues like Resolved: God is a lesbian. But not too bad; better than God is a grumpy old many who likes to burn people alive for a zillion zillion years for crossing Him.

But it's the inter-church fighting that's amazing. Like the old saying: I went to a prize fight and an Anglican argument broke out. Police had to be called!

So, why are they even this high on my list. Well, they have really great church buidings; their liturgy is not equaled by any other Christian church. Most of the communicants are nice and kind of "uptown." They wouldn't be caught having coffee for breakfast---always tea. The women imagine they have been reincarnated from a Jane Austen or Trollope novel.

Now if your daughter wants to marry into this group. Well, she WON'T get the immediate social boost she would have gotten 50 years ago. Still it may make her seem like she has British background. NOT Polish!!! So take it if you can.

BTW this 'Church' has the first blog parish. Maybe the wave of the future. I'll get to that at my next rest stop.

Very Nice---But...The Christians(Disciples)

I once knew a girl who was smart, attractive, kind, well-liked, active in 'good' causes; but still was really kind of a wall flower. Well, in a church that is like the Christian, disciples of Christ Church. It's all there, but this group lacks, well, dare I say it, Sex appeal.

This group is ecumenical to a fault; a good theology; active in the right causes. And their chruch building are quite nice. But somehow they just don't have it. At one time they did, but now they are seldom mentioned. Of course, we ask why. I can't really answer that. I just know that in our fair city, their downtown church use to average at least a thousand on any given Sunday. Now it's down to about 200. Maybe the name they go by---The Christian Church---is a little too obvious. Maybe if they changed their name to something like "The Latter Day Good Christians" they might come back But I think the real reason is they can't be identified by someone they hate. After all, the fundamentalists HATE those who don't believe every last blommin' word in The Book. The "liberals" think of the Bible as just the longest running best seller, and hate the fundamentalists; The Catholics hate democrats; the Anglicans hate each other---get my point?

So if your daughter wants to marry into this group---well, it really won't make any difference.

A Brief Rest Stop. The UU's.

A brief rest stop as we climb up the religion ladder. The Unitarians, as we call them here, but the Unitarian-Universalist as they prefer to be called by the "in" group. After all UU is better than just U---might be confused with the "Unity Church."

Is this a Christian church? Depends on how you mean that. No trinity, no saints, no relics---hell, they even have atheist members.. But, now get this. My wife, a life long Catholic, would go Unitarian if she had to switch. Which she won't.

I happen to live 6 blocks from the largest Unitarian Church in America in terms of membership. Here in the sticks, oddly, this group has great prestige. Why? Because some of the most prominent people in our little town have been Unitarians for the last century. When I was young they had a fine man as leader(or whatever you call the 'preacher' at a Unitarian church.) Robert Sonen was his name and he always had time to open his library and give his time to us young radicals. Later he was succeeded by a guy named Wolfe, who was okay, but was kind of in your face and had buck teeth. The old downtown Unitarian Church is now a funeral home. The new building is fine, but lacks the old charm.

So you admire the UU(I'll use the two U's). A lot of real nice people and still a mattress for falling Baptist (Menken). They don't hurt nobody(just for pj in case she stops by).

As Stuermann said: I love the Unitarians. The scripture reading is from the Picwick Papers, the offetory music is Ave Maria, and the semon is on the presiden't stimulus package.

Coming from the old Ethical Cultural Society in our part of the World, it is difficult to put then in my religion rankings. But just stopped for a tip of the hat and to satisfy my wife. Jack

Roman Catholics. THE BIG SLIDE

This is hard. It's my OWN religion. I thought about doing this in two parts--clergy and laity--but decided not after B16 announced that the laity were nothing. Yes, if the priest and God are EVERYTHING where does that leave the rest of us. WE ARE NOTHING. His quote: "Next to God, the priest is everything." So stop quibbling!!! So I'll spend a little time on the laity, but start with the clergy.

Roman Catholicism is unique in several ways:

One, the clergy makes up the single largest collections of gays in the world. Nothing really wrong with this, but they are all in a closet. It's so crowded in there, their dresses are beginning to show out the bottom of the closet door.

Two. As I wrote above, it is the only religion in which the laity have NO say.

Three. It is the only religion whose one and only cause today is to stamp out sex.

Four. It is the only religion in the world where the laity, well, most of them. don't pay any attention to the clergy's dictates.

This anti-sex church can be rather harsh. If you are a teen age boy and you think of your girlfriend and your 'private' expands even one hundreth of an inch---it's off to hell. And if a girl dreams of seeing her boyfriend without a shirt on---it's off to hell.

But let's not be too negative. The church buildings are the greatest; the music and art heritage is without peer. They used to have a real strong social ethic, but that's gone now to only one teaching---SEX IS BAD.

And there's something for everyone. If you dig pre-adolescent girls seeing ladies in blue, and springs of water emerging---well, we have it. If you like monks who can fly and be in two places at one time, check out Padre Pio. If you like weeping statues, the Virgin Mary on your patio door(she was on my office door---really!!!) then come join us.

It breaks my heart to think my religion, my family's religion has dropped in the ranking so far since my last survey a decade ago. But listen, I don't worry. The church has great schools , great football, some of the fanciest costumes you'll ever see and----WE ARE A BILLION STRONG. So take that!!

Now if your daughter is going to marry into this religion. you have just one worry. She may be an octomom(sp?) within 6 years and wind up with 16 offspring. But don't worry that's just in theory. Her husband, catholic as he may be, is NOT going to throw away his condoms

The Baptist---ON the MARGIN

Some might quibble about putting the Baptist in the "up to the top" category. Granted, they barely make it but they have some good going for them. BTW, here we deal with the Southern Baptist Convention, far and away the voice of Baptistry.

First, they believe pentecost came only once so you don't have to worry about the person next to you in the pew being 'struck by the Holy Spirit and falling, drooling, on your new Sunday outfit.

Second, if you go to a large Baptist church---say over 1000 members---the preacher will probably have a theology degree, even a doctorate, and thus will not be overly ignorant.

Third, again staying with the 1000 plus member church, the exterior of the church building will probably be in good taste, well, at least, not an eyesore. The interior could be a different matter; so check it out.

Fourth, if you're in the South(USA) your fellow members will probably be literate and have responsible jobs in the community. Oh, and the music will be not terribly offensive.

Fifth, they are easy to join.No "inquirers" class, no long visits with the pasture(not a sic). You just walk down the aisle, say "I accept Jesus as my personal savior," and a week later get waterboarded...and that's it.

As an extra bonus, the Baptist believe in the "eternal security of the believer" commonly called once saved always saved. And if you do rape the lady next door---well, you really WERN'T saved at all. So you just 'rededicate' yourself.

The Baptist used to pride themselves on not having any creeds. They called it "soul competency." But then the Texas Baptist preachers came a few decades ago and now you have the preachers being expelled for heresy.

And, of course, today the Roman Catholics and the Southern Baptist are in a tooth and nail battle over who gets to be the religious arm of the Republican Party. But in you just want to go to Church and not get involved in anything "liberal", this denomination may be for you.

Now a tip for your daughter if she wants to marry into this group. Try, if at all possible,to join the First Baptist Church of(whatever your town/city is called). It does add a bit of social prestige.

Hey, I forgot the ethics bit. Just two for the Baptist: Don't drink booze and don't dance if your body touches your partner. Not bad, eh.

ON to the TOP!

It's time now to leave" up from the bottom" and start "up to the top." All ths groups from here on are, at least, respectable. But I will continue to give tips on how to advance in these respectable religions. Personally, I have spent time and been saved in the following since my parents were part-time church musicians. Episcopal, Catholic, Presbyterian,Methodist and Baptist. Jack

Last "UP from the BOTTOM!

Last religion on the the "up from the bottom" list is the Nazarenes. Most people know that John Wesley inspired two different groups. He was an Anglican priest and never left. But he was also an "enthusiast" and like to see people fall on the ground and bark when he preached. So the Nazarenes. I not saying they bark at church;but they do like the "holiness" bent. When I was young my grandmother, a Methodist, told me the Nazarenes were...well, from the wrong side of the tracks and were those who couldn't make it in the Methodist group. Kind of snobish, but some truth there. Their motto---give us that old fashioned Wesley. Wesley the firey preacher. As far as I can find, their aesthetics are a bit tacky. Ugly churches, rather crude preaching, with some gramatical errors. Ethics, public and private just like most other "Christians".
If you daughter wants to marry into this group---well, she could do worse, but will always carry the tag 'a bit tacky'. Still she could be a holy roller so thank God for small favors.

BLOG NOTICE BLOG NOTICE BLOG BOTICE!!!!!!!

I am switching this blog to show a new user name. Now the name is Mark. Mark is my middle name. I am a 'son' of the previous couple who had this blog. I endorse all views on this blog. . We will continue the "Religion Rankings." Mark

Church of Christ---BORING

Still coming up from the bottom on the "Religion Rankings." Here we are at the Church of Christ. A fundamentalist goup, this flock is best known for having no musical instruments in their services. Musical intruments were not mentioned in the Bible in the early church---so that settles it. Too bad Bach! This church has a typical fundamentalist theology. Their churches are not that bad---kind of boring and unimaginative but not eye sores. They even have a couple of half-way reputable institutions of higher learning. Not much else to say.

If your daughter wants to marry into this group---well, she could look for a little more inspiration if they had organs etc, but if boredom is her thing, she's found the right place. Sorry to be so dull, but dealing with this group---boring.

Religion can have rewards!!!

Well, coming up from the bottom we find the Seventh Day Adventist. Now, when I think of them, I find clean colons and enemas. But this group has some real distinction. They have Sunday dinner on Saturday;they used to sit on mountaintops expecting the "end" only to come down and show they didn't get their math right.

But, on the other hand, they are the ONLY religion I know that can give you a physical advantage if not a spiritual advantage. Studies have shown they, on the average, outlive other Christians. Something not to be laughed at!!

Now if your daughter is thinking of marrying into this group, she will, of course, get a few sneers behind her back from her friends. BUT, and this is not to be scorned, she will probably get the satisfaction of going to her friends' funerals.

Pentecostals. More bang for the buck.

Getting back on track we come to the Pentecostals---Assembly of God, Church of God and many others.

Back when I was young we called this group "Holy Rollers." We used to drive out on Sunday evening to watch the show. Today their influence has seeped into the main-liners religions, where they are called "charismatics." A good deal more "uptown."

I think these folks believe in the Trinity, but they have really fallen in love with the Holy Ghost (Spirit). I think they have some kind of theology, but their essence is found in their church services. This 'more for the bang' group features naked emotion. They fall on the floor, are slain by the Spirit(?), wail, bark, babble(speaking in tongues they call it) cry, can laugh for days---you name it the Spirit can make you do it! Of course, all this is not new. It's been going on In Christianity since the first century (See Knox).

There are some nice people here, of course. Usually located 'across the tracks'; their places of worship usually rank in the ugliest building in town and guarantee lowering property values. Their preachers keep the low end of the clothing and cologne business's going.

What if your daughter wants to marry a Pentecostal? Well, it depends on your daughter. If she likes to 'get with it' both in church and in the bushes with her boyfriend after the Sunday night service, then she has found the right guy and the right church.

Forgot: WORST CHRISTIAN RELIGION OF ALL--NO CONTEST

Hey, I forgot!. Getting old, so overlooked the clear winner of the Worst Christian Religion in the world. Obviously the Jehovah's Witness's. Really can't describe this group but to quote Harold Bloom: This religion has NO redeeming qualities!!! PERIOD

Second from the Bottom--Christian Science

Christian Science appeals primarily to post-menepausal genteel ladies. Founded by Mary Baker Eddy, who thought she was deep but completely murdered Plato. This group is basically harmless,quiet, with decent looking churches, no clergy (just readers??) and a soloist rather than a choir for music. Not bad so far. So why ranked so low. Well, their "theology" is probably more far out than even the Mormons. At bottom it is idealism gone truly mad. Everything "bad" is just in your mind. So your arm is cut off in an accident----HOLD IT. You just THOUGHT it was. If you can think right the severed limb will jump up and reattach itself to your shoulder!! Really, it will!!

These believers have no real need for ethics. I told you, BAD is just in your head. So why worry about others.

As far as aesthetics go---well I've never been in a CS service. But as I said above, their church buildings can be nice. And they are quiet. Oh, I forgot. They never knock on your door! In sum, crazy, crazy beliefs but lady-like faux Boston manners. If your daughter wants to marry a CS, make sure she has a pre-nuptial agreement that her husband would never, repeat NEVER, receive control over her medical care. Of course, probably not necessary because not sure there is any male CS under 55.

You insist. 2009 Religion Rankings.

Every 10 years since 1950 I have published my "Religion Rankings." Several e-mails have come my way requesting I release a new list. So I will.

I basically use three criteria.
One. A coherrent philosophical/theological pattern. The emphasis here is on being half-way reasonable in light of modern thinking.
Two. A sound and active ethics both personal and public.
Three. An acceptable aesthetic tradition, on the grounds that the "good, the true, and the beautiful are linked together".

Each of these factors is considered but none is absolutely determinative.

I only "rate" so called "Christian" religions.

So starting at the bottom with the worst Christian religion in the world. Based on my personal observation and study.



Latter Day Saints (Mormons). The ultimate fusion of way out science fiction, crazed beliefs, and utter nonsense. That this group continues to grow shows that, after centuries or more of learning some still hold on to utterly mindless, almost pre-human world views. Not much on ethics either personal or public. A decent Choir, and a couple of pretty good buildings. Would rather your daughter marry a cross dressing, transvestite, commie spy than get entangled with this group of crazies.

Christian "Growth"

Sometimes it is really hard to take religion, at least in its institutional form.

I am Catholic now; was Anglican the rest of my life. So I follow some Anglican blogs as well as several Catholic ones. Both Anglicans and Catholics, of course, want to 'grow' their churches. So what are they doing? Both are having trouble finding new followers in the Western world, so they are looking for new fields to conquer. Ah,!!!!What about Africa?Sure both groups would have to sacrifice some basic principles, but the rewards could be great. Kind of fuse the Christian message with local customs, like the subservience of women, hatred of gays, intolerance of others and you may have a winning hand. The Anglicans are well on the path of 'we can look bigger' if we recognize as true christians a kind of tribal like goup of bishops in Africa. And, of course, the same with the Catholics---after all isn't flogging of women who get out of line just a local custom.

Now, to my horror, it looks like the Methodist want in the game. This group is shrinking in the West, but, get this, growing in Africa!!! Well success breeds imitation.