Having finished my "Religion Rankings" for this decade, I must move on to a couple of 'rest stops'. So brief discussion of "Mega-Churches." These are hugh non-denominational churches, that are far more than traditional churches. They package religion in with a variety of other activites, to draw more "megas."
Some observer recently wrote that these mega-churches would not last---they would collapse of their own weight because they had no 'real' theology. Wish father to the thought, I'm afraid. Very few, if any, members of the traditional churches have any real idea of the theology of their denomination. Okay, maybe a few slogans, but that's it.
A friend of my recently returned from the "Mega-Church World Federation" and passed along a few suggestions that were made to draw new "megas" by using 'secular' techniques rather than the usual "come to Jesus, and save your ass" approach of the denominations. I'll list a few.
In Mexico a complete bullring right under the 'sanctuary'. Complete with real bull andweapons of bull torture.
In France, complete course in "French kissing" not just limited to the lips.
In Italy, free hot tub sessions with members of their parliament, including the Prime Minister.
In England, a bit reserved, so free tickets to the Prince William and Prince Harry nude picture gallery.
In Ireland, free molestations by your favorite nun or priest. Accompanied by songs by the "singing priests," or whatever they are called.
In the United States, drawing for a night of free sex with your favorite Republican figure. Or in the alternative a drug session with Russ Limbaugh.
In Africa, watch a stoning of a gay after the Sunday morning service.
Just a few great ideas. Guaranteed to increase membership in your mega-church.
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This "Mega Church World Federation" will probably never end Jack and we'll keep going round and round cultivating what we've been sewing until Our Heavenly Father decides that there's no more good left to save in other words when "Gone Her Rhea" sets in "IT" is finished cause who wants to safe something that is rotten?
ReplyDeleteI recall when I was about seventeen and got set UP by an old barber of mine. To make a long story short, he had tape on his glasses and after him cutting my hair for awhile, I asked him how he broke his glasses to which he replied, I was kissing my girlfriend and she closed her legs.
Jack! You've got to stop corrupting or is "IT" resurecting my old dead cells cause now they need to go around re-ashing for another century or so.
I hear ya Jack! Did you say that they were French Dead Cells? :)
You (wonderful) nasty old man. Just told joke to a priest!!!
ReplyDeleteBtw, I'm still running from the testy Anglicans.There could be 7 people writing here, but you tell my "style." If it's "sweet" it's not old Jack.
Hey Jack! I'm not really a dirty old man as long as I keep sinner vic in check but "IT" seems that you're starting to grow on him.:)
ReplyDelete>>There could be 7 people writing here,<<
Been there and done that Jack but be careful cause some of these so called people who are writing for U.S. sometime expect a few reward now and then. Nothing to worry about cause I was reading that Biotic Science is working pretty close with human conscience now and they can actually stretch a cell to six feet. I'm honestly starting to think that an alien god placed that magazine in my grandson's hospital cause "IT" seems so hard to believe. sinner vic tells me that anything which he truly believes might be true,some of these alien gods will literally swallow "IT" UP. Go Figure!
Jack! I've also heard from sinner vic that once you have 7% of all your spiritual and reality cells writing for you, these alien gods might make you an honorable or is that just an honorary member of their "Hotel of Fools" :)
Good Luck! Victor