The Church of the Curious Cleric

There has been a lot of comment the last few weeks about the new world of the internet, facebook, twitter, blogs and other cyber developments that are changing our world in a real way. We see this in politics, world affairs, personal matters etc. But no one has mentioned to my knowledge these new developments on religion. But they will come---indeed we already have a model, at least, for the first cyber church.

So I'll do a brief tentative analysis and see what happens. I'll use 'cover' names to protect the---well, should I call them the innocent.

The founder of this cyber church, which I will call "The Church of the Curious Cleric," (CCC) is an ordained cleric in England. He ministers to a local church, but constantly complains because he has not gained the 'advancement' he claims he deserves. So, he apparently thinks, why not keep two jobs; one as a local cleric and, at the same time, start your own church.



But what about offerings, or money, as the laity call it? After all a church can't just exist on faith alone. Well, the CCC church displays at all times on its blog, the single word "Donate." Where the donations go and how much they are is a secret, known only to the Curious Cleric. However, unlike most religious appeals, the Curious Cleric makes it quite clear the money goes to him personally. A few months ago, he appealed for monthly donations to keep the ministry going. That has been dropped, and his last appeal was to finance his vacation.

The organization, or hierarchy, of the CCC is not fully developed at this time. The Curious Cleric does have a sort of assistant. This guy, from the west coast of the U.S.,is a rather tart 'young' man, who takes over when the Curious Cleric is on vacation. The Curious Cleric need not worry. This assistant worships his 'boss'; is never critical of the head cleric, and BTW has the fastest "delete" hands in blogdom should a critical comment come in. I suspect this assistant is gathering relics of the Curious Cleric to sell---well you know when.

Right under the assistant is the official blog inquisitoress. She lays down the rules of who can come on the Blog(church) and does this with icy efficiency. Even the Curious Cleric follows her instructions on who to "cast out" from the CCC. Recently, to the delight of the "communiy", as the members call themselves, this lady got married. I would be less than honest, if I did not say I pray every night for her......her husband!

Problably the most active member of the church is a granma who apparently only knows really sick people. She describes in brutal detail those getting close to heaven. The church prayer club then responds by chanting "prayers as--cending, prayers as-cending" at least 7 times, 7 times just to keep it Biblical.

Another important member is DAH-DAH. He used to appear in the church directory naked from the waist up, causing, it appears, squeals of delight from the faithful. He now appears with shirt.

The community, the church, whatever, does not speak in unknown tongues or have a 'prayer language. They substitute "naughty" tongues. The favorite word is some form of the F...Word. Some other 'frank' words are used quite often so that when they call someone asshole it just might be a compliment. Oh, I must mention a lady who identifies herself with just two letters. She's planning to be a writer, but is satisfied now to be the official church proof reader.

Maybe the above will give you a slight 'taste' of the membership of CCC. As of now, the church has no official slogan. On its blog billboard, it promises 'the deity, genatalia, and bad music.' in other words, of course. A pretty good draw, eh?

They have" high holidays"---they have just finished(maybe) having a month long celebrations of the Curious Cleric's birthday. One another distinctive trait: The catholics see the Virgin in their cereal , on their doors etc. The CCC members---and this is very distinctive---see human penises(should it be "peni") in everthing from trees to clouds; or just anything vertical.

I really felt I could not complete my religious survey without, As Obama says) looking to the future. Watch this CCC church. It is growing, and probably coming to your computer soon.